I started this blog entry in early October and have struggled to write it. It has been the hardest piece I have ever chosen to write.
Friday morning September 30th 2011 I woke up early, I was upset about something so wasn't sleeping great, got sorted, came down stairs, started putting a shopping list together and checked my work facebook, I saw a post from a friend on my work page, "We have lost a true legend today...RIP John Broz..u will never be forgotten xxxx". I replied with "what" I mean was it a mistake, a rumour? We all know what the Irish are like for Chinese whispers, never mind the gays in Ireland. A post then appeared in response to my question of disbelief saying "he passed away this morning Mary".
I texted a very good friend, Aine and told her.; The shock set in straight away and I went up shopping like a zobbie, I didn't want to believe it, I couldn't cause if I did I would have broke down. In my head it was still a mistake, I mean John Broz, a awesome dj and complete legend who lights up any room, full of life and amazing energy, no way had he past. I had seen and chatted with himself and Angi the weekend before.
I went about my business and went up to my local shopping centre. As I was walking around, trying to focus I was thinking, how is everybody so normal, a legend has left us. I got my shopping done, came home and read it again, half expecting to find out it was a mistake. It wasn't. Tributes were filling up facebook. I rang my other half (a best mate of 16 years) in Waterford and broke down on the phone. Then I started contacting people, who may not have heard, the tears wouldn't stop. The other half and her girlfriend came to Cork from Waterford to stay with me. Earlier when I heard, one friend came into my head, Christy, a guy I met about 9 years previous in Cork, a guy who has become an amazing friend, a guy who was always at a Broz gig and who loved, appreciated and enjoyed John's friendship, company, presence and skill as much as I. Christy had gone away the day before and I couldn't get in contact with him. Myself and Christy have a mutual friend, who I met at a Broz gig at Cork Pride 2010, Joby. I text him, as I couldn't speak on the phone and told him and shock set in with him too. Alan, another mutual friend of Christy's facebooked me and asked for his black jacket for John's funeral. I couldn't get my head around it, we shouldn't have had a funeral to go, I was hoping it was one very sick prank.
The girls arrived down to Cork after 4 on the Friday and stayed with me until the Sunday. The weekend just past, I was still in shock, I wasn't hearing anything about arrangements, the tributes were being posted on youtube and facebook. I was very hurt actually, I was hearing nothing from anybody in Cork so eventually I texted an individual to find out if they knew anything regarding arrangements for John and I got a really cold response back and told it would be posted up online and to check facebook. Which was the logical thing, facebook is the way to let a lot of people know something all at once, but it hurt. The girls went home Sunday and I called to some friends house and got my ass whipped playing connect 4. My friend came back to mine and stayed over, I just couldn't stay on my own, nor did I want to, I will still in shock. I felt so isolated from the community and felt so lucky to have support from Aine, Garf, Ally, Joby, Gwen and Mark.
The next day just seemed to pass and soon it was time to go to the church. It was so hard, the one person who would have probably been with me through it all was away, and could not be reached. It did help that a good friend was coming from Dublin, Joby. It was so odd getting ready, I wore a pink shirt with coloured hearts and jeans as well as a pride ribbon on my jacket and a pride wrist band, a friend called and we went to the church and waited there for people and John to arrive. I was sitting in the car and burst out laughing and said "only john could fill a church with gays". We got out of the car, and waited at the church, people started to arrive, then the cars and John with a rainbow pride flag draped over him, Joby arrived then, I was never so happy to see someone, someone to share the tears and laughter with, someone I met at a Broz gig and someone who just wrapped his arms around me and was a great support. We went into the church to hear 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow' and see the alter lighting change all the colours of the rainbow. The priest welcomed John and the rest of us to the church, he was so respectful of the pride flag and what it represented as well as John, Angie and their family and friends. Songs were sang and words spoke, condolences were made too and the shock and upset was very present. After the service I went up to Angi and was introduced to the Broz family, I was expecting to hear John say 'hey girl, thanks for coming, it's great to see ya', but didn't.
Joby came back to mine, he was staying over and another friend called around, Mark, I know Mark as long I am in Cork. We talked and remembered, laughed and cried. I know I wondered how I would get through the next day. Tuesday morning came all too quickly, I couldn't comprehend I was getting ready for John Broz's funeral let alone ordering a taxi to go to it. So many nights I used to come back to Cork after being home for the weekend, grab a bite to eat, figure out what to wear and head into town with friends to dance the night away to the legend John Broz.
We got the taxi up, stood outside for a bit and then went in and took our seats, it was so hard, there we babies crying and laughing occasionally, reminding us about life, John's fellow band members sang, the readings were beautiful, the priest invited whoever wanted communion to come up, he quoted the Pointer Sisters again, John's sister spoke the most beautiful words to her brother, Whitney Houston was played at which point I expected John to be djing on the alter, the entire service was beautiful, very Broz like. I sat there, in shock, the tears flowed, wouldn't stop.
I went back to LinC for a cuppa and the others joined, then Joby had to head back to the big smoke, it meant to much to me to have his understanding and support. Gwen, Mark and I went for a bite to eat and then over to the Pav, anytime I had been in the Pav it was to a Broz gig./ Angi and the rest of John's family arrived shortly after along with friends and the place was full. Full of stories, music, laughter and sorrow. Full of John's type of music and tracks of his amazing voice. I met more of his family and friends, shared stories and disbelief before much later heading to Loafers for one before heading home.
Life is not the same, never will be, it is always the beautiful people that are taken before their time. At his benefit night a month later, somebody sang Firework by Katy Perry, that song is really one way of billions to describe John. In November John was awarded and remembered at the Rebel Awards 2011 in Cork where his family received Lifetime Achievement Award. You see, John was one of those people who had a sense of magic about him. He would walk into a room and without saying a word, would light it up, his colours would burst. He had time for everyone and only see good in people. Every night John was out or playing, was an awesome night. Any day you met John or Angi randomly in the street you would find an extra spring in your step and an uncontrollable smile in your soul and on your face.
I can feel a separate post coming on about John himself.
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